This Place of Validation.
I was in this place for so long, I didn’t even relieve I was dying spiritually and physically. My heart was so black and cold I was living a lie. I wanted to be accepted and wanted to be in the crowd. Not even realizing God had already validated me. But I wanted it from man. Why am I so glad you asked? Because I was broken. Honestly, I loved this place I was in because I didn’t have to be who God chose me to be. I felt unworthy. My bitterness and unforgiveness was better than dealing with the root or being disappointed again. I felt like an outcast, so I put myself on the back burner to please man because of the validation I was seeking, have you ever been there? Because why would God validate someone like me with all the pain I had endured. This seeking validation had me sinking deeper in this dark place of the unknown.
It wasn’t until January 2021 that Sherise (myself) had to be real with me. I had to be willing to be open and honest with myself as to why I keep seeking validation when God had already given it to me. Why was I selling myself short? This was the tough part but I was willing to do what it took. So, I shut down and began to seek that one person I had been avoiding (Jesus.) I begin to cry out and ask questions: why would you want someone like me, I don’t really like myself yet alone love me like I should why me God? How can I help someone be free when I am still broken and bleeding? The scripture John 15:16. I chose you because I see your heart, your willingness to love in spite of it, so if you let me, I will give you the strength to seek me for validation of who I need you to be. Will you let me Sherise. I will take all that Misery you feel and make it into your ministry but it has to start with you.
At that moment I heard it's in your prostrate. I got on my face. I repented and asked God to forgive me, Then I had to forgave myself for giving up on God and myself. Philippians 4:13 became my base scripture. I told myself I will no longer be bound again; I began to denounce the word curses that I and others had spoken over me. I said, “Angel you are worth it, you are enough”. If no one believes it, you do. You are Bold, Beautiful and Fierce. So, I begin to break the bonds of being in that dark place of seeking man's validation. It wasn’t easy but I held on to what God gave me by following the instructions of His Holy word. And being open with myself now I can say I am loving this place that God has me in where I am no longer bound or seeking man's approval. Because Jesus chose me, I am embracing who Sherise is, I am loving this place and journey God has me on. Loving this place, owning who I was chosen to be.