“The Blessing in the Pit” (2003)
This place was dark, cold, and uncomfortable. How could there be any Blessings in this pit. Well, I was about to understand why it had to happen. Let me allow you into how my world changed in 2003. The conservation was like this. I no longer want to be married anymore because I believe God didn’t ordain it. Me Asking a thousand questions why? What was so better about her that you would walk away from your family? No answer just a walk out the door. So how is it a Blessing in this pit? I begin to cry and ask God why me, what did I do? I begin to plead with God, begging him not to let my marriage end. But God was about to show me why it had to happen. I became so depressed that I no longer wanted to be around people, or even my kids. I became angry, mean, and someone I didn’t know and I begun to do things I wasn’t proud of; trying to fill the hole that was left in my heart. I was broken like humpty dumpty, no one could fix it. I was so lost and still had so many questions; the pain was unbearable. I was a laughing stock, talked about, and betrayed by the ones I called friends and family. My life was shattered in 2003. A young mother of 4 kids; how can I do this alone God, where is the Blessing in this painful pit?
I, Sherise made the decision to end it all because I no longer wanted to be in this place. I wrote a note asking my mom to take care of my kids, and that they were young and wouldn’t understand. I got a knife and went into the room, asking God to forgive me for what I was about to do? That moment the room lit up bright and my baby girl woke up and she had the biggest smile on her face. She was like 6 months old at the time, and she began to reach for me. I dropped the knife; I fell on my face and broke down crying, saying “God will you help me through this?” At that moment God began to talk to me, saying I allowed it because he became your god, you forgot about me; you lost yourself while trying to please man. You compromised who I made you to be. I am a jealous God and you will not have any other gods before me. Exodus 34:14. It wasn’t easy to accept my pit season, but it was about to be worth it. Now I understand why I had to be in an uncomfortable place. God was going to use my story for my Glory.
See, the Blessing in 2003 was meant to break me and it did just that, but this break also led me back to the one person who gave me beauty for my ashes. In my pit season I found Sherise again. I became a woman of strength, my faith increased and I was able to truly forgive myself and others, and move forward. I could have never done that if I didn't embrace my pit. So, the Blessing is I took that whole that was in my heart and let go of the anger, the bitterness, and the animosity. In doing so, it allowed me to become Bold, Fierce, and Humble enough to tell you that the blessing is that I went from being hurt to being healed. So now, I can help others go from Hurt2Healed because My Blessing was preparing me for my ministry.
Coach Sherise White