No Longer Bound
Rejection a word that not many like to talk about;
Why is that though? Could it be that thinking about it, brings up memories we choose to forget? Or does it stir up things from a hurt place that we’ve not really dealt with?
Growing up, I remember trying to figure out or even understand rejection, specifically from my family. Especially from those who said they loved me. Imagine being about six or seven years old, not understanding why you couldn’t stay at your grandmother’s house. Or better yet, why were all the other children allowed to stay and you weren’t? I remember one day as if it were yesterday, my family was visiting for the reunion, and it was just my dad and I who came from Florida. This particular day was a Sunday and my dad was packing up to head back home, I wasn’t ready to leave so I asked him if I could stay. One of my uncles was staying until the next day and said that I could just come back with him. So of course, I was excited! What child wouldn’t be! About ten minutes later my dad comes through the door and says that I couldn’t stay and I was leaving with him. He also told me the reason, which was because my grandmother said that I was not allowed to stay.
For me, that’s when the seed of rejection was planted. That seed was what led to so many other things. From that point, I would always fear not being accepted by others. Not only by others, the worst part was, me not accepting myself. SELF-REJECTION! That’s a whole different ball game, when you reject yourself based off what others have said or think. I was hurt deeply, bitter, insecure, and lonely. It was easier for me to just be alone, than to worry about how I would be treated. That seed grew into weeds that would show up in my relationships, goals, socializing, and just everyday life. I was more secure alone, than I was with and around other people. Because at least I knew being alone, I wouldn’t have to fear being rejected; until I realized one day, just how unhealthy that was.
How did I overcome my fear of rejection? The first thing I had to do was acknowledge the fact that there was a fear and be willing to address it! I started talking about this with a coach, who helped me to understand I wasn’t really living. I was living with limitations. I missed out on so much; that fear had me confined to a box, that I didn’t step outside of because it had become my safe place. Rejection also became one of my prayer targets, and the more transparent I became with God, the more residue from my childhood He began to dust away! I had to allow Him to go and comfort that rejected little girl, in order for the adult woman to flourish without restraints! I had to realize that my family rejected me because they didn’t understand WHO I was!
That’s how I overcame it! I can boldly say that rejection and fear no longer have a hold on me, I am free to be all that I was purposed to be! And so can you! Don’t limit yourself to a box that others placed you in, although rejected by man, you are protected by God! Everything about you is unique to your design and if others can’t understand or recognize that, then they are missing out! Be true to who you are and who you’ve been called to be!
~ Coach B