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  • Sabrina Bordley

Missing My Mother in this Place.

November 19,2020, I remember it like it was just yesterday. My mom transitioned to be with the Lord. I wasn’t ready! I never imagined my mom leaving me and my family before the age of thirty. I didn’t expect her to not be here before she ever got to me her grandchild. Truth be told, I thought I had time. As I’ve heard the elders once say, “ your life will never be the same when losing a parent!” They were right, it doesn’t hit you until it arrives at your doorstep.

In this place, the very woman who carried me for nine months, the one who helped raise me to be the person I am; is no longer here.

Grieving isn’t the emotion of choice. Previously, any time a problem arose I’d deal with it when it was convenient or not at all. Grief, however sneaks up on you like a cat hunting a rat. Pouncing on you every chance it gets. Giving you no choice but to sit still and allow the tears to flow. I tend to find comfort in those memories that I hold so dear. I find myself becoming more vulnerable to life. “Every minute counts!”, is what one of my neighbors Ms. Blue used to say. I really didn’t grasp the meaning until I was forced to think and ponder about my life without my mother. A void that will probably never be filled, just comforted by the comforter.

Now, I know I am not the only individual who has been or is currently in this place. Research claims grief has no set time. Some last eight weeks, some last years. Just as I am, allow the emotions to take its course. I am beginning to believe that grief can either stagnate you or push you, there’s no in between. We have the choice to allow the pain and the grief to do the necessary work in us to become a better version of ourselves. Granted, we long for our loved ones, we long to just hug them one more time. I understand but we have to keep going and help those who are also in this place.

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”

2 Corinthians 1:2-4

Coach Lew-Sapp

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