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“Listen even when they are not speaking words” (Suicide so close to home)

This is a topic so many don’t want to talk about, teenage suicide. Why? I am so glad you asked? The shame that is behind losing a love one to this powerful demon; thinking what did I miss, what could I have done to prevent this from happening? Well, society has painted a picture for our youth that it is ok to down play how someone may be battling with scars that you have no idea they exist. That our youth has an image to Portray to be something they are not. It is causing so many to battle with anxiety and depression they are speaking but no one is listening!!

This hit home for me June of 2015; I begin to see a change in my youngest daughter Jamiah. She became distant, fighting and at times disrespectable to me and her siblings. She didn’t want to do family activities. I begin to ask questions “What is wrong, are you ok? She would say,” I was fine ma.” I would pray and ask God to show me what was going with her. I remember one Friday sitting at work, God asked me “If I bring a storm that could possibly destroy you; will still trust me?” I said, “Yes Lord, I will.” That night my oldest daughter called and told me that Miah had been molested by a family member multiple times. My whole world was turned upside down but God reminded me of my vow. This was when all the suicidal thoughts started. I begin to question myself as a parent, “Did I fell my child; was I not listening to what she was speaking” “Why God why?

I got her into counseling, as well as, myself to better understand and help her as well. Still blaming myself as to what did I miss; was I so busy with my own issues that I did not hear what she was saying without saying it? It was a battle but I was determined I wasn’t going to allow this demon to have my child. I begin to research and reach out for help to understand how to save her. I began to talk with my child to see where the root stemmed from. She begins to tell me that she felt abandoned, didn't know who she was, why this had to happen to her. I wanted to cry but I needed to hear her to understand how to help. One day at work again God spoke to me and said, “Go home now.” I clocked out and raced home. When I got there my ‘Miah’ is what I call her, had written me a good bye letter. She said momma I am tired. Had I not come home and listened to God my child may not be here. I was now listening even when she wasn't speaking. Proverbs 3:5-6. I had to trust God even when I didn’t understand.

Coach Sherise

The advice I would leave with you, as a parent, it is ok to invade their privacy; when you are hearing what they not saying. We only fail if we ignore the signs they are giving even if they are not speaking. It’s ok to seek help; some things we are not equipped to handle, it’s nothing to be ashamed of when you have a child that is battling with suicidal thoughts. Seek help and fight not to lose your child to this demon that is taking so many of our youth because some are so busy worried about the prosperity bag and missing the bag of suicide so many are holding. They are speaking but no one is listening.

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