Lesson in the Storm.
My 30th birthday is right around the corner. I can honestly say life has been an experience of unexpected things that has transpired and is still spiraling today. Good and bad, I understand that everything happens for a reason. Just a short time ago, my perspective of the world changed. The difficulty to trust God wholeheartedly when things around me are being shaken; my mind has been changed towards life, towards leaders in churches, towards how I view myself as an individual. I honestly know that I am no longer the same. My thinking process has shifted and today I don’t know if it’s for the good or for the bad. Most days I don’t know if I’m going or coming. As a matter of fact, Somebody press the rewind button! I would’ve never even considered saying “I can’t wait until I grow up.” Oh, how I’d be a tad bit more grateful. That’s for the natural, as well as, in the spirit.
The excitement behind saying ‘yes’ to God definitely did not register that there would be a price. Having that hunger and the thirst after righteousness, and being very raw and authentic in my asking… Then boom something that’s beyond my control shakes my foundation. It’s much easier said than done when I hear catastrophes, trials and tribulations are created for us to grow closer to God; but what happens when you don’t feel Him the same as you once did? Scripture states that He’d never leave us nor will He forsake us. I am discovering my own truth at this moment. In my breaking I know I can’t give up.
Those late-night conversations I previously had with God; getting deep in my word; crying out to Him consistently for His people when I was told. There’s a nudge for a cry spiritually just as Peter yelled out, “Lord save me!” as he stepped out of the boat to walk on the water towards Jesus in Matthew 14; He began sinking when fear came in as the winds and the waves increased. It was hard to see Jesus in the middle of a storm. Every time I read that story I understand it with a different revelation.
Nevertheless, (Proverbs 8:28) reads; “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” I try to take the positive out of every situation I am faced with. I’m coming into the knowledge that the blessing behind the lesson is teaching me patience. Not to forsake extending gratitude to God’s people. Taking the time out needed to understand before making any decisions. Lord knows my attitude in the past could’ve gotten me killed. I see change and I’m still striving for change. What keeps me going today is hope.
Jekalyn Carr stated it best, “You have to grip it (faith) strong and don't ever let it go.” With the help of God’s strength, I plan to do just that.
I know someone out there who can relate. Your story may not be mine. I’m not here to sell you a dream. As I am empowered by my truth I encourage you all to stay in truth. Be true to yourself. If you’re battling depression, grief, identity crisis, any ailments, etc. you’re not alone. Don’t you give up! That’s too easy. Keep going my sister. Keep going my brother; as I too will continue to run my race.