“I Had to Remove the Mask.”
Why, you asked? I was battling an identity crisis; I didn’t know who I was.
Webster says, ‘Identifying is who someone is.’ Well, I didn't know who I was. My battles started at the age of 7 up until I was 44. That is 37 years of being a people pleaser going along to get along. Giving up me to become a part of the back burner syndrome. Who was Sherise? Well, I couldn’t tell you because I was so busy trying to please others that I begin to lose me. Did what others thought I should do; how I should live my life. Not daring to go against what they said. So glad you asked why?
My mouth was muzzled. I was made to feel like I couldn’t do it, that no one would listen to me. My self-esteem was damaged all along. I begin to allow the word curses that were spoken over me to take root. I even told myself that you’re not worth it, no matter how many times the spirit would say, not so. There was a war going on inside of my mind for years the flesh won. I would say I wish I could be someone else because my life would be so much better. I was being the Great pretender because I felt like a failure everyone; I had trusted at some point in my life and had let me down or even betrayed me. How could God choose someone like me with all these issues I was having. The battles, the battles of my mind were slowly killing me mentally, spiritually, and even physically. I hid my pain behind many masks. My children even would begin to say why you let them treat you like that momma, you are so much more. I would smile and say it will be ok. But actually, the battles of my mind were winning. So how did I remove this mask and fight to overcome my identity crisis?
December of 2016, I made a promise to My Rose (My mom) that I wouldn’t give up that I fight to be who God said I was meant to be. Not knowing my rose would leave me in the next couple of weeks. I begun to pull the layers back; how so glad you asked? I got at Jesus feet and begin to seek him; I repented and asked Jesus to remove the muzzles I allowed many to place on my mind and mouth. I prayed for ‘Holy Boldness’ to embrace those much-needed conservations to free me. I begin to tell myself I will no longer battle in my mind who Sherise was meant to be. I chose me, so I denounced those word curses and sent them back to the pits of hell. I learned to put myself first and celebrate myself if no one else did. Begin to fall back in love with Sherise.
After removing the mask and facing years of battle with an identity crisis. I had to change my mindset, and believe in me. Now let me introduce you to Who I am. A survivor, A Conquer, and A Servant willing to help others overcome the battle of Identity Crisis. Going after everything God said I could have. John 15:16