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  • Bennecia Taylor

Embracing My Joy.

Joy; an inner feeling or a feeling of great pleasure and happiness. I used to think I really understood what joy was and what it looked like. And boy, was I wrong. I thought joy was simply being happy, just enjoying life or whatever state you are in at that moment. My joy was wrapped up in other people and I honestly thought that was okay. As long as I was spending time with others and involved in what they had going on, I had that feeling of “happiness”. That feeling of being fulfilled because you feel as though that person’s presence fills voids you may have. But what happens when things change or those people aren’t around anymore? Does your joy leave too?? I can be honest and say that mine did.

I was in a relationship for a little over two years, when I say I put my all into it, I PUT MY ALL INTO IT! As long as we were doing something together, I had so much joy. I supported him, I pushed him and I encouraged him, and that’s where I felt like my fulfillment came from. But when that ended abruptly, whew! I felt like my entire world ended, because I no longer needed what I thought I needed. Throughout this process I learned one hard lesson. I learned what joy WAS NOT! Joy is not tied to anything or anyone else. I got so caught up in a person that I forgot how to be happy alone or just being happy by myself. The impact that I felt when he was with me, was the same impact I felt once he was no longer with me. No one should have that much control, well you shouldn’t allow anyone to have that much impact over your happiness.

Psalms 16:11- 11 You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy, at Your right hand there are pleasures forevermore.

I now understand where joy comes from because I had to allow God to deal with me in that process. I had to take the broken pieces of my heart and give it to him to put back together. In doing so, he instilled in me what joy truly is and where it comes from. He helped me to understand that true joy comes from Him and is found deep down on the inside of us. So that fulfillment that we seek, can only come for God. It’s put down on the inside because no one should have access to it, but us. No one can give it, and no one can take it away. When it comes from God, it is yours forever. I was too busy mourning what I thought I lost, to embrace what was already inside me! So, in essence, I was freely giving my joy away for someone else to mishandle.

I embraced the true joy that was already inside of me, and you can too! Since doing so, my life has never been the same. The joy of the lord is your strength, find God and he’ll reveal to you pure joy!

-Coach B

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